I have no interest in writing a review of the film. I'll give you a brief synopsis though and then you can decide if you want to see it; (SPOILER ALERT) - Jacob gets angry and takes his top off. Edward and Bella get married. Jacob comes to the reception and gets angry. Edward and Belle have rough vampire/human sex (either that or there was a nasty case of domestic violence - the 12 A certificate kind of stopped us getting to see it). Bella becomes pregnant because the free condom Edward got from the Health clinic broke. Jacob gets angry about this saying they should have used his JLS ones.The wolf pack decide they're going to kill the baby Bella is carrying. Jacob gets angry about this. Bella has the baby. Jacob gets angry about this. Bella dies. Jacob gets angry about this. The wolves and the vampires fight. Jacob gets angry about this. Bella wakes up a vampire. Somewhere, off screen, Jacob was probably angry about this. The end (until part 2 - cha-ching!).
This franchise certainly divides people. It's like Titanic all over again. That film seemed to be universally hated (granted mainly by men - it's actually a really touching piece of cinema and a great comment on the class system at the time, or it's a film about how some women like men who look like twelve year old boys), yet it smashed box office records.
Granted Twilight is popular, but for all the people who love Twilight there is another person who moans about it. Why is it the film equivalent of marmite? Is it because women love Lautner's Abs while men hate him cause they want those abs but like beer and pizza too much to get them? Is it that women love R-patz' dreamy gaze and smile and men think he looks like a crack addict? Do men think Kristen Stewart can't act, but women.... probably agree? Or that women (and me) love a good love story, but men would rather watch Bruce Willis blow terrorists up? Women like their vampires sparkling in the sun, but men like their vampires dripping with the blood of the latest virgin they've seduced?
Or maybe it's just pure escapism. Men watch Bond movies and wish they were him. Driving fast cars, sleeping with stunning women... so what's the difference between women watching Twilight and dreaming of it being them on the screen having rough vampire sex with that guy who was in one of the Harry Potters?
One of the aims of cinema should be to provide a form of escapism; Twilight certainly does this for a large number of people.
People who criticize it for being a terrible vampire movie are missing the point. It's not a vampire story. It's a love story set in a world with a vampire back drop. The same way Titanic was a love story that just happened to be set on a ship that unfortunately hit an iceberg. Sure that adds to the emotional impact of the movie, but it's not what the movie is about. The world will always love a good love story, because Hollywood will always make it look better than how it plays out in real life for us all (No I've not forgotten DiCaprio dies in Titanic, but you get the point).
Of course I'm clearly stereotyping here; Yes the film certainly had a target demographic, but some men like Twilight, and some women hate it (though I'll be honest there were not many men in the cinema on Thursday night... ). So here's to the final chapter of the movie next november, Breaking Dawn Part 2, or its alternative title 'The angry topless wolfman, and his battle to maintain perfect abs'.
On a much more comical note, a woman said I had a look of Robert Pattinson about me on the Thursday night (I really don't, other than the fact we're both men, debatable on my part, who have heads). At first I was pleased, but on further inspection she did say that comment right after I'd said he looks like he's always high on Crystal Meth. Not really a compliment afterall then...
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